looking for the blessings in life

I hope I don't sound like a broken record here but one of the most profound lessons I've learned in the aftermath of my termination has been that the things that seem like tragedies or horrible events in my life are really opportunities. In today's second reading, we are told by St. Paul in Romans 8:28: "Brothers and sisters: We know that all things work for good for those who love God,who are called according to his purpose." If this is so, we know everything that happens to us has a good purpose if we can view it through eyes of faith. One thing to keep in mind here is that God is only capable of good. God = good. So, whatever He allows to happen, or orchestrates to happen, in our lives works for good.

I didn't always believe this. When my sister Mary died at 41, leaving 8 children, ages 6 through 18, I was very, very angry with God. I remember being in the laundry room, doing laundry, and railing at Him. I shook my fist, I screamed at Him. I didn't see how Mary's death could bring anything good. It took me three solid years to stop being angry at God. During that time, I acted out. I did things that, up to that point, I'd never thought I was capable of doing. In the end, I realized I had come face to face with the darkest reaches of my soul and it eventually brought me to my knees, literally. Sinning, I think I figured, gave me control over at least parts of my life. Of course, it didn't. It only made things worse. However, being the stubborn person I was, I didn't see it that way. I wanted to get back at God for the pain I thought He'd inflicted.

Back then, I didn't trust God. I didn't understand that He is only good, that He is merciful, that He had the future in His hands and, in the end, good would prevail.

What I've come to realize is that I can trust God to know what He's doing in my life. I truly believe that everything that happens in my life is ordered for good. The events in this life are the means in which we can grow in holiness, thus aiding our journey to heaven. When I think about the saints who were martyred for their faith, I know I'm onto something here. They lost their lives in horrific ways and now they are in heaven. This life is temporary, a means to an end. We know that God waits for us to join Him in heaven for all eternity. While we're here, we must take every opportunity He offers us to grow in holiness. In this, we are extremely blessed because He gives us many, many opportunities throughout our lives.