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Here is a piece St. Anthony of Padua wrote, published in the Magnificat on June 13th:
"It is only in adversity that we come to know whether we have made real progress in goodness...Two things the devil fears above all: the fire of charity and the well-trodden path of humility...The poor of Jesus Christ, who are marked with the sign of his poverty as long as they are in this world, consider themselves pilgrims and exiled from the Lord (2 Cor 5:6) and walk roughshod over the passing things of this world. Unless we keep our hearts thus unfettered, how can we come to the Lord?...Nothing apart from God can satisfy the human heart which is truly in search of him. Patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit in us. Practically, we are required to be patient in many ways: for there are some things, trials and crosses, which come to us from God; others, temptations and enticements, that come to us from our old adversary the devil; still other difficulties that arise from our neighbor: persecution, complaints, unjust accusations. Against all these we must be ever on our guard lest we give way to complaining against the trials our maker sends us; lest again we be led astray into sin, which is what the devil wants; or to be overly disturbed by the thoughtlessness or unkindness of others. For if we want to have our own way always, aren't we really seeking our reward here below in the things of this life? Let us couple patience and long-suffering in the spirit of meekness and faith (and so bring forth fruit in patience)!”
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Jesus gave us the antidote to adversity in our lives. He said, "I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.” (John 6:51) When we eat this living bread, we are given the grace to turn away from sin and the grace to be forgiven of venial sins. It becomes the delight of our souls. This divine food helps us grow closer and closer to God; it urges us on toward the Kingdom, our ultimate destination. It helps us to succeed in this life. It triumphs over death. The Holy Eucharist, which we celebrate in the Church today, is the best gift we will ever receive in our lives. We must never ever squander it but participate fully in the effects it produces in our lives, praising and thanking God all the while for His awesome generosity.
When we experience adversity in our lives, we can embrace and unite ourselves with Christ who suffered the epitome of adversity for us. I believe that, if we ask God to help us live the path to Him, we won't ever need to get our own way. What I've discovered is that God's way is so much more bountiful and joy-filled. I have figured out that I want only God's will for my life. After all, God's will seems to work out so much better for me.
Yesterday, I was given a beautiful gift. It appears I'm going to have the opportunity to teach 17 students (and maybe more) at a Catholic school near my home every morning before the school day begins. Now, this is exciting on many fronts but the one I want to share with you is that, a couple weeks ago, I was praying, asking God to send me a total of 50 students for the fall, if it be His will to do so. (This prayer seemed in keeping with what God has been asking of me, in terms of spending the majority of my time and energy in the pursuit of teaching more piano students.) At that point, I had 33. I was thinking last night that these 17 students are the answer to my prayer (not one less, not one more, but 50!) and it filled me with great peace and joy.
I now understand why Jesus told us not to worry. There's no need to worry when He takes such good care of us. How blessed we are!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
friends (in high places!)
I have had the most remarkable couple of weeks. First of all, my meeting with the bishop began with quite a bang. I got to his office only to realize I'd forgotten my notes on the kitchen counter. I started to panic (quietly) and then realized that this might be an opportunity to be more authentic with him. When I told him what happened, he did a thumbs up and heartily agreed. (Usually, I have copious notes with me, trying very hard to make sure I tell him EVERYTHING I think is important! His reaction here told me a lot about what he really feels about all my notes!) Guess what? I actually ended up telling him things I hadn't intended and I left, thinking he most likely needed to hear them. As usual, he was very kind to me but also firm. As always, he challenged my thinking in a way that I felt very validated. I told him that, in the aftermath of my termination from the pregnancy center (which, by the way, he wanted to hear all about), I felt as though I was wasting time regarding the new community of Sisters. He rolled his eyes and told me to give myself a break. He said I'd just been given a huge distraction and that I had to recover from it. He said he wasn't concerned about anything regarding the community.
He's an awesome listener...and I still sometimes feel as though I should pinch myself in order to really believe that I have a bishop's ear for an hour every 3 months or so. Given how busy he is, that is something that is very precious and such an honor for me.
At the end of our meeting, I invited him to my students' piano recital, scheduled for the next evening. I knew it was a long shot that he'd be free. (He wasn't; he had a meeting at a parish in Minneapolis.) I prefaced my invitation by giving him a program and explaining that I'd heard through the grapevine that he was a piano player. His eyes just twinkled as he looked through the program, asking questions. He told me it brought him back to his youth when he'd be taken downtown Minneapolis to the Schmitt Music Company (where there was a large auditorium) for his recital. He said it was always a huge deal because his teacher wore a ball gown and a corsage and it struck fear in all her students. I told him I didn't do any of that. He sighed and said, "Thank you for not doing that to your students!"
The bishop was especially interested in MY name as composer of one of the pieces on the program. I told him how one of my beginning students had come to me with "lyrics" and wanted me to put it to music. Here are the words:
Nana and I put on our mittens and drove to Tim Horton's; got twenty five Timbits and 2 muffins. Yum! Yum! Yum! Wow!
Note: her grandmother lives in Canada, where Tim Horton's Restaurants are prevalent.
She and I worked on it together, with me adding a simple accompaniment. We decided she would sing it and I would accompany her and at the end we would both say "Wow!" The bishop was very interested in this whole process. I believe he would have gone to the recital had he not had another commitment. Imagine my students' reaction if he had been there...That recital would not have been one they would forget any time soon!
The next day, I had an appointment with my counselor. I wanted to check in with her about my emotional state. I refuse to morph into a bitter, angry person just because I was once fired. The cruelty and injustice of it all have been a bit of a challenge to overcome but, in talking it out with her, I discovered that I've come a long way toward healing the hurt. I truly do see it as a great blessing in my life. Even the suffering has been a gift!
The day after that, on recommendation of the bishop, I called a new priest friend who has been inviting me into conversation with him. The bishop told me that he was probably one of the very best spiritual directors around and it was time to understand that God was giving him to me for such a purpose. I'd been complaining to him how every priest I'd asked so far had turned me down for this role. He said it reminded him of the man on the roof in a flood. A boat came along, a helicopter came along, and still he drowned, waiting for the Lord to save him. He asked God why he hadn't saved him and the Lord said, "I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter. Why didn't you jump aboard one of them?" I told him, in my defense, I thought Father was becoming my friend and it might be a conflict. He said it sounded to him as though I was learning a lot and I needed to let it unfold naturally. See? He shows me the error of my ways and it is very, very good!
Anyway, my priest friend is very busy being the pastor of a large parish. I figured he'd be able to meet with me in 2 or 3 weeks. He said, "What about tomorrow? I have all day after morning Mass." Yikes! I believe that was the Holy Spirit telling me something! Our meeting was yet another opportunity to share with and learn from one another.
My friends are rallying around me, too. I consider them to be friends in high places. They may not have fancy titles but they minister to me in so many consoling ways. Dinner and a movie with a very close friend...lunch with another...Two days of music teacher meetings (paid for by my sweet friend!)...dinners baked by another generous friend...a very beautiful card out of the blue in the mail...Then, tonight, I called a priest friend who is moving to a parish after 13 years of being the pastor at another parish. I wanted to find out how he was doing. As we talked, he asked me if I'd eaten dinner. I told him I hadn't and he asked, "Do you want to now?" So, we both jumped into our cars and met at a local Italian restaurant. What I enjoyed about it was being in the moment and reacting to that moment. God was present with us! Father was also the one who took me out to dinner the night I was fired. I will never, ever forget his kindness to me that night.
Since this is already a long, long tome, I won't make it longer by telling you about all my saints and angel friends. They have been surrounding me in prayer support through it all. St. Therese the Little Flower, St. Anthony, Mary, our Mother, St. Peter, St. Monica, St. Michael, little Matteo...these are only a few of my close friends in heaven. I know that they are a blessing to all of us. They advocate for us in ways about which we have no idea. I just wonder how they can listen to all my bellyaching and still have time for everyone else. It's an awesome mystery, isn't it?
And, then, there's God, the most glorious Friend of all. He is with us always in awesome, beautiful ways. Talk about a Friend in a high place!
He's an awesome listener...and I still sometimes feel as though I should pinch myself in order to really believe that I have a bishop's ear for an hour every 3 months or so. Given how busy he is, that is something that is very precious and such an honor for me.
At the end of our meeting, I invited him to my students' piano recital, scheduled for the next evening. I knew it was a long shot that he'd be free. (He wasn't; he had a meeting at a parish in Minneapolis.) I prefaced my invitation by giving him a program and explaining that I'd heard through the grapevine that he was a piano player. His eyes just twinkled as he looked through the program, asking questions. He told me it brought him back to his youth when he'd be taken downtown Minneapolis to the Schmitt Music Company (where there was a large auditorium) for his recital. He said it was always a huge deal because his teacher wore a ball gown and a corsage and it struck fear in all her students. I told him I didn't do any of that. He sighed and said, "Thank you for not doing that to your students!"
The bishop was especially interested in MY name as composer of one of the pieces on the program. I told him how one of my beginning students had come to me with "lyrics" and wanted me to put it to music. Here are the words:
Nana and I put on our mittens and drove to Tim Horton's; got twenty five Timbits and 2 muffins. Yum! Yum! Yum! Wow!
Note: her grandmother lives in Canada, where Tim Horton's Restaurants are prevalent.
She and I worked on it together, with me adding a simple accompaniment. We decided she would sing it and I would accompany her and at the end we would both say "Wow!" The bishop was very interested in this whole process. I believe he would have gone to the recital had he not had another commitment. Imagine my students' reaction if he had been there...That recital would not have been one they would forget any time soon!
The next day, I had an appointment with my counselor. I wanted to check in with her about my emotional state. I refuse to morph into a bitter, angry person just because I was once fired. The cruelty and injustice of it all have been a bit of a challenge to overcome but, in talking it out with her, I discovered that I've come a long way toward healing the hurt. I truly do see it as a great blessing in my life. Even the suffering has been a gift!
The day after that, on recommendation of the bishop, I called a new priest friend who has been inviting me into conversation with him. The bishop told me that he was probably one of the very best spiritual directors around and it was time to understand that God was giving him to me for such a purpose. I'd been complaining to him how every priest I'd asked so far had turned me down for this role. He said it reminded him of the man on the roof in a flood. A boat came along, a helicopter came along, and still he drowned, waiting for the Lord to save him. He asked God why he hadn't saved him and the Lord said, "I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter. Why didn't you jump aboard one of them?" I told him, in my defense, I thought Father was becoming my friend and it might be a conflict. He said it sounded to him as though I was learning a lot and I needed to let it unfold naturally. See? He shows me the error of my ways and it is very, very good!
Anyway, my priest friend is very busy being the pastor of a large parish. I figured he'd be able to meet with me in 2 or 3 weeks. He said, "What about tomorrow? I have all day after morning Mass." Yikes! I believe that was the Holy Spirit telling me something! Our meeting was yet another opportunity to share with and learn from one another.
My friends are rallying around me, too. I consider them to be friends in high places. They may not have fancy titles but they minister to me in so many consoling ways. Dinner and a movie with a very close friend...lunch with another...Two days of music teacher meetings (paid for by my sweet friend!)...dinners baked by another generous friend...a very beautiful card out of the blue in the mail...Then, tonight, I called a priest friend who is moving to a parish after 13 years of being the pastor at another parish. I wanted to find out how he was doing. As we talked, he asked me if I'd eaten dinner. I told him I hadn't and he asked, "Do you want to now?" So, we both jumped into our cars and met at a local Italian restaurant. What I enjoyed about it was being in the moment and reacting to that moment. God was present with us! Father was also the one who took me out to dinner the night I was fired. I will never, ever forget his kindness to me that night.
Since this is already a long, long tome, I won't make it longer by telling you about all my saints and angel friends. They have been surrounding me in prayer support through it all. St. Therese the Little Flower, St. Anthony, Mary, our Mother, St. Peter, St. Monica, St. Michael, little Matteo...these are only a few of my close friends in heaven. I know that they are a blessing to all of us. They advocate for us in ways about which we have no idea. I just wonder how they can listen to all my bellyaching and still have time for everyone else. It's an awesome mystery, isn't it?
And, then, there's God, the most glorious Friend of all. He is with us always in awesome, beautiful ways. Talk about a Friend in a high place!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Pentecost
The psalm refrain today is: "Lord, send out your spirit and renew the face of the earth." The readings (Acts 2:1-11; Psalm 104; I Corinthians 12: 3b-7, 12-13; John 20:19-23) are filled with references to the Holy Spirit. (Since it's Pentecost, it makes sense!) I have been pondering these. What do they all mean for my life?
I know one thing. I must be open to and make myself present to hearing the working of the Holy Spirit in my life. St. Paul, in the I Corinthian passage, tells us that there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, different forms of service. We are many parts but all one Body of Christ. The question is am I able to discern what MY gifts are? Am I willing to use those gifts for serving God and others?
I like the idea that we are many parts but one Body. I used to joke that I hoped I wasn't an appendix, superfluous and easily done without. I wish now I hadn't. We are ALL important parts and I should never have denigrated what beauty God wrought in all of us, even me.
I have tremendous joy in what God is calling me to do these days. Teaching piano...AND voice (I have 2 voice students now, with perhaps 2 more on the horizon!) is a way for me to give to others a means to praise God through music. It was interesting what happened when I taught my first voice student last week for the very first time. Nearing the end of the lesson while I was presenting different songs for her to study, she told me what she really liked to do is sing hymns. I was amazed. It felt as though God was speaking right through her, reminding me that my real mission was to entice students to praise Him. All of a sudden, I had an outline for my voice students' lessons: vocalization exercises, sight signing, folksong, fun song of student's choice, hymn. (I've decided to work on hymns that are appropriate to the liturgical season at the time.) I found it astonishing because I hadn't been able to settle on what my voice lessons were going to exactly look like until then. And, with the generosity of my friend Jacquie, who recently gave me a little recording device, my students will have access to my accompaniments and the melody lines from which to practice.
We are many parts but all one Body. I once was overwhelmed, thinking of all the possibilities of things I could do in the world. I think I must have forgotten to look to the Holy Spirit for direction. I need not have been overwhelmed. All I really needed to do was listen. I have finally figured out that God speaks loudly (well, maybe not so loudly) and clearly when I just listen to Him!
I know one thing. I must be open to and make myself present to hearing the working of the Holy Spirit in my life. St. Paul, in the I Corinthian passage, tells us that there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, different forms of service. We are many parts but all one Body of Christ. The question is am I able to discern what MY gifts are? Am I willing to use those gifts for serving God and others?
I like the idea that we are many parts but one Body. I used to joke that I hoped I wasn't an appendix, superfluous and easily done without. I wish now I hadn't. We are ALL important parts and I should never have denigrated what beauty God wrought in all of us, even me.
I have tremendous joy in what God is calling me to do these days. Teaching piano...AND voice (I have 2 voice students now, with perhaps 2 more on the horizon!) is a way for me to give to others a means to praise God through music. It was interesting what happened when I taught my first voice student last week for the very first time. Nearing the end of the lesson while I was presenting different songs for her to study, she told me what she really liked to do is sing hymns. I was amazed. It felt as though God was speaking right through her, reminding me that my real mission was to entice students to praise Him. All of a sudden, I had an outline for my voice students' lessons: vocalization exercises, sight signing, folksong, fun song of student's choice, hymn. (I've decided to work on hymns that are appropriate to the liturgical season at the time.) I found it astonishing because I hadn't been able to settle on what my voice lessons were going to exactly look like until then. And, with the generosity of my friend Jacquie, who recently gave me a little recording device, my students will have access to my accompaniments and the melody lines from which to practice.
We are many parts but all one Body. I once was overwhelmed, thinking of all the possibilities of things I could do in the world. I think I must have forgotten to look to the Holy Spirit for direction. I need not have been overwhelmed. All I really needed to do was listen. I have finally figured out that God speaks loudly (well, maybe not so loudly) and clearly when I just listen to Him!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
God is everywhere!
We are very blessed here in Minnesota with the remarkable changes in seasons. In the spring, the green, green leaves and trees, the melting of the ice on the lakes giving way to crystal clear blue water, the sudden popping up of daffodils and tulips almost before all the snow has melted, all lift our spirits with signs of new life after the seemingly endless cold, dark winter months. In summer, the smell of freshly mowed grass, the birds singing their lovely songs, the thunder storms all point to a microcosm of us living our lives...work, rest, turbulent times, songs of praise. The fall brings its own special blessings. The vibrancy of the colors of the leaves, their brilliant reds, oranges and yellows, easily can take my breath away at the beauty of it all. Winter is the most awesome! There are mornings in winter when we can look up to see a veritable winter wonderland scene. There are two kinds: one, when it's warm enough that the snowflakes are wet with moisture, clinging to the trees and the other when it's colder and the snow freezes into ice, forming an incredible layer of frozen crystals on the trees that shimmer so brilliantly you wonder if it's real. These always, without fail, take my breath away and I exclaim to myself, "THIS is why I live here!" Those days are truly gifts!
How can someone experience the wonders of nature and not think that God exists? I have a friend who now declares himself an atheist. He grew up in a big Irish Catholic family, went to Catholic schools but, in the ensuing years since then, he decided the Faith he'd been taught was not for him. When he told me this and that he didn't believe in "fairy tales", I cried for weeks. Oh, how I wished he could know God as I know him, or at least in his own way! I pray for him, that he will have a change of heart and that he will seek God. After all, Jesus promised, "Seek and ye shall find".
There is so much beauty in the world, it's unfathomable to me that not everyone can believe it all comes from God. Not only is there nature's beauty but every single person is a gift from God. I wouldn't know how to explain it other than with a God standard.
Yes, I know there are natural, devastating disasters that occur, which can make us wonder. Certainly a God who is only good wouldn't allow those, would He? Well, I know that God allows them for a good purpose. From my limited perspective, what I've seen is how people come together in times of crises with offers to help victims. (Yesterday, thousands of people, strangers mostly, descended upon North Minneapolis, where a tornado had hit a couple weeks ago, to work clearing debris and rebuilding.) These become opportunities for us to figure out what is truly important in life. They are opportunities to grow closer to God. And, out of them, we can be changed for the better. Our hearts can be softened and formed in the likeness of God. They are times for us to experience God's presence more fully in our lives.
I don't think I fully realize what a gift faith is. It's always been a part of me. I've never needed to question it. There have been times I didn't do so well with it but there was never a time I thought there was no God. I hold a baby and I know there is. I look up to the sky and see the stars so radiant in their brilliance and I know. I drive through a forest of trees, shimmering with hoarfrost on a cold winter morning, and I know. My grandson writes little, "I love you, Nana" notes and I know. I experience the Consecration during Mass and I know. There is no other explanation for all the beauty around me. God is here!
How can someone experience the wonders of nature and not think that God exists? I have a friend who now declares himself an atheist. He grew up in a big Irish Catholic family, went to Catholic schools but, in the ensuing years since then, he decided the Faith he'd been taught was not for him. When he told me this and that he didn't believe in "fairy tales", I cried for weeks. Oh, how I wished he could know God as I know him, or at least in his own way! I pray for him, that he will have a change of heart and that he will seek God. After all, Jesus promised, "Seek and ye shall find".
There is so much beauty in the world, it's unfathomable to me that not everyone can believe it all comes from God. Not only is there nature's beauty but every single person is a gift from God. I wouldn't know how to explain it other than with a God standard.
Yes, I know there are natural, devastating disasters that occur, which can make us wonder. Certainly a God who is only good wouldn't allow those, would He? Well, I know that God allows them for a good purpose. From my limited perspective, what I've seen is how people come together in times of crises with offers to help victims. (Yesterday, thousands of people, strangers mostly, descended upon North Minneapolis, where a tornado had hit a couple weeks ago, to work clearing debris and rebuilding.) These become opportunities for us to figure out what is truly important in life. They are opportunities to grow closer to God. And, out of them, we can be changed for the better. Our hearts can be softened and formed in the likeness of God. They are times for us to experience God's presence more fully in our lives.
I don't think I fully realize what a gift faith is. It's always been a part of me. I've never needed to question it. There have been times I didn't do so well with it but there was never a time I thought there was no God. I hold a baby and I know there is. I look up to the sky and see the stars so radiant in their brilliance and I know. I drive through a forest of trees, shimmering with hoarfrost on a cold winter morning, and I know. My grandson writes little, "I love you, Nana" notes and I know. I experience the Consecration during Mass and I know. There is no other explanation for all the beauty around me. God is here!
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