a tad discombobulated

Jesus said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled." In today's Gospel according to St. John, he tells us to have faith in Him, that He is going to prepare a place for us in His Father's house. He tells us He is the way, the truth and the life.

These are very comforting words for me right now. This past week, my heart has indeed been troubled. I have been in the throes of grieving...being sad, being mad, feeling displaced. None of this seems productive and, if I spend too much time in these feelings, I start to feel desolate. Out of that comes a temptation to fall into despair. It's a downward spiral with no good outcome. Why should I feel alone when God is always with me? It's just such a human trait to feel this way after a traumatic event, isn't it?

I would like to challenge myself to something different. I must fix all my attention on God's goodness and all the blessings He bestows. I also want to acknowledge, once and for all, that the things that happen in my life, especially the challenging, difficult things, are really gifts. They are my tickets to get closer to God. He allows things to happen to me for good reason. I may not always understand while they're happening but I certainly can trust that good will come from them. Romans 8:28 declares, "We know that all things work for good for those who love God...". If this is true, and I have no reason to believe it isn't, then all I need is patience. In His own time, God will show me what He had in mind in the first place. I must trust Him. I must patiently trust Him with my very life, my entire life.

It seems like the easy times have not been nearly the opportunities in which to grow in faith as the traumatic times. This is why I thank God for the traumatic times. It is true that suffering can help me be closer to God.

Okay...no more pity parties for one here! God is watching over me and my heart need not be troubled.

Peace be with you, dear one!