so many lessons!

This time, right now, is a blessed time for me. I am seeing awesome signs that God is intimately involved with everything that is happening to me these days. Every prayer seems to be answered swiftly and in beautiful ways. It fills me with incredible peace and great joy!

These are not dark days. These are days filled with wonder! I am excited to find out just exactly what it is God has in mind for the next leg of my journey in life.

These past two weeks have taught me so many things! The first thing I saw is that I have a pride that has not been squelched very well, despite my best efforts...or at least it seems to come out as a temptation at times like this. There have been times when I didn't even realize what I was doing was prideful. I have some work to do on this...and I know God will provide good opportunities to do so!

People have been sending me little messages just when I need them the most. Last night's:

From Saint Faustina's Diary:

270 Without humility, we cannot be pleasing to God. Practice the third degree of humility, that is not only must one refrain from explaining and defending oneself when reproached with something, but one should rejoice at the humiliation.

If the things you are telling me really come from God, prepare your soul for great suffering. You will encounter disapproval and persecution. They will look upon you as a hysteric and an eccentric, but the Lord will lavish His graces upon you. True works of God always meet opposition and are marked by suffering. If God wants to accomplish something, sooner or later He will do so in spite of the difficulties. Your part, in the meantime, is to arm yourself with patience.

(advice from Fr. Sopocko)

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It seems every single person in my life and many who are on the periphery of my life are praying for me because that's the first thing they tell me when they write or call or visit with me. Peggy, the sacristan, gave me food (dessert included!)throughout the week last week. She said she wanted to take care of me and cooking and baking are the ways she could. Several have taken me out for a meal. This morning, a friend said eat whatever you want, order everything...take a little for home, too. She wanted so badly to do what she could for me. I have such marvelous friends!

This morning, before Mass, I asked Father if he had any hymns in mind. He said he wanted us to sing Blest Are They. I looked at him oddly. He said, "What?" I told him that this was the 23rd anniversary of my 41 year old sister Mary's death and we had sung it at her funeral. She had planned her funeral and it was one of her favorites. And, for the past few days, I have been singing On Eagle's Wings, which was definitely NOT her favorite hymn but the words have brought comfort to me. It just made me think that Mary must really be here with me, advocating for me. It also makes me think about just how broad my friend base really is...I believe it includes the communion of saints in heaven! See? I AM very blessed!

I'm not going to tell you that everything is all peachy keen. I took a nap the other day and woke in sheer panic. (It probably didn't help that my cat was sleeping on me which made it hard to breathe deeply while I was sleeping!) I walked around the house for a bit, remembering how "Be not afraid" is in the Bible over 300 times. God must mean it if it's in there that many times! I must not be afraid. I felt better, thinking of that.

Too, the magnitude of loss is starting to seep in. The loss of income is only the tip of the iceberg. The loss of seeing friends at the center, the loss of stature, the feeling of utmost betrayal by people I thought were my friends. The grieving will take a while!

I am busy marketing my piano studio. I have four new students--one started last week, one started today, another will begin next week and I haven't firmed up when the fourth will begin. It's a start, it's a start!

And, onward to the Kingdom we go! Peace of Christ be yours, dear friends!