meditation of the day

Here's something I read in the Magnificat for this past Wednesday. It was a reflection on Matthew 13:1-9, the Gospel for that day. It's by Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection (+1691), a French Carmelite friar. It's entitled "How to Produce the Hundredfold". It has much food for thought, if you ask me!

"We must keep our eyes fixed on God in everything we say, do, or undertake. Our goal is to be the most perfect adorers of God in this life as we hope to be throughout all eternity. We must make a firm resolution to overcome, with God's grace, all the difficulties inherent in the spiritual life.

When we undertake the spiritual life we must seriously consider who we are, recognizing that we are worthy of all scorn, unworthy of the name Christian, and subject to all kinds of miseries, and a multitude of setbacks. These disturb us and make our health, our moods, our inner dispositions, and their outward manifestations changeable; in all, we are persons God wants to humble by means of a multitude of internal and external troubles and trials.

We must believe that it is advantageous for us and pleasing to God to sacrifice ourselves to him; that it is normal for his divine providence to abandon us to all sorts of trials, miseries, and temptations for the love of God and for as long as He likes. Without this submission of heart and mind to the will of God, devotion and perfection cannot endure.

A soul depends on grace in proportion to its desire for greater perfection. God's help is necessary at every moment because without it the soul can do nothing. The world, nature, and the devil together wage war so fiercely and so relentlessly that, without this special help and this humble, necessary dependence, they would carry off the soul against its will. This seems contrary to nature, but grace finds pleasure and peace therein."

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Ever since I met with Mother Mary Clare of the Handmaids of the Heart of Jesus on Tuesday, for the past two days, I have come under attack by the devil. There have been huge temptations to think, feel and do things that I wouldn't have thought possible. Oh, it was all very sly on Satan's part. He seemed to be using my natural inclination toward pride. Today, I am doing better but it is ONLY by God's grace that this is so. I find a small consolation in the thought that, if the evil one is trying this hard to derail my effort to submit to God's will in all things, perhaps I'm on the right track. I don't think he'd bother if he didn't see my effort as good. Oh, how I despise him! I am not going to give him any credence by saying much more here.

I know that I must always keep my eyes fixed on my dear Lord. The thing is I can talk well on this but...do I honestly DO this every moment of my life? My sins are so great! However, my hope, my faith lies in God who is ever merciful and forgiving of me, always ready to help me get up and try again. Yesterday, I wanted to give it all up, run away and hide. (Yes, it's true. The trouble was I couldn't run away from myself.) Today, after hearing the readings at Mass, I am at peace. Here are the readings: Jeremiah 3:14-17, Jeremiah 31:10-13 and Matthew 13:18-23. In them, God promises to protect us, to bring us to Him and that, through our faith in Him, we will bear much fruit. Look them up and you'll see what I mean.

How blessed we are to know, love and serve such a gracious God! Forgive me if I've said this before but I cannot stop saying it. It will be as true tomorrow and the next day and the next as it is today. The sufferings we endure in this life are opportunities for us to seek God. He's always there, waiting for us, wanting us to be with Him. These thoughts helped carry me through the past two days. It wasn't easy because I am certainly not perfect (and I didn't know what I was up against at first, which is how insidious Satan and his temptations are) but I knew that God was with me. After all, He promised he would be.