dealing with the truth

One question I've been contemplating this week is how do we deal with the truth? In different times in my life, I've ignored it, I've denied it, I've thought it was interesting but didn't think it had much to do with me and I've made up my own version of the truth. Most recently, I've been trying very hard to embrace and live in it...and always tell it.

I ignored the truth when I didn't want to do what it would require of me. For example, when I was married I contracepted (much to my deep shame now) because I didn't want any more children at that point. How arrogant! How selfish! How ignorant! Little did I know that, in ignoring the truth, I missed out, the world missed out, in the huge blessings of the presence of the children I could have had. Granted, I may not have had other children but, given how I'd had 4 children in 5 and a half years, I doubt very much that would have been the case. One could say my selfish action changed our family in ways only God knows how.

I denied the truth when my sister was dying. That was probably a psychological defense mechanism against the terrible pain of losing her but nonetheless it was not me being very accepting of the truth. I've denied Christ, the Truth, in other ways, too, that involve other people. My denying the truth in those situations did no one any good.

Seeing the truth but believing it had no basis in the reality of my life is an interesting phenomenon, too. How many times have I passed by someone by the side of the road, begging for a few dollars, only to turn the other way? The cynic in me figured he was a fraud...but, what if he wasn't? Won't I have to answer to God about that? Do I REALLY want to take the chance that I might have denied Christ in those moments?

I also went through a period where I thought everything I did was good. It didn't matter if it was objectively considered a mortal sin or caused harm in a small way...If I deemed it good, it was good. Relativism was alive and well in me! I think, for many years, in my own mind, I could do no wrong. I had found a way to twist things around to make them seem so very good when, in reality, they were very, very bad.

All of these are but a few examples of the violence I did against the truth in my life. I've learned from my experience that we must guard the truth as if it was a precious jewel because it truly does lead us closer to God. We must live in the Truth!

These days, I try very hard to see the truth and to live by it, no matter how painful. There is great joy to be found in living in, and being obedient to, the Truth (God!) and I want to accept whatever comes my way via the truth for I know it is the way to eternal happiness.

In essence, I believe Jesus when He said: "If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32) Amen, my dearest Lord!