a beautiful celebration of a life well-lived

Angie Hegele died a week ago this past Friday. She was the woman I told you about in my entry on January 3rd. Sister Marilyn told me when I arrived to play for Mass on Sunday morning. I immediately offered up my playing for her and her family and then sat, stunned, throughout Mass, deeply saddened, deeply engrossed. (I didn't miss any cues to play, though!) I didn't even know her and yet I felt immensely close to her.

I found her obituary in the Sunday paper when I got home and then found her caringbridge website (caringbridge.com/visit/angiehegele) and started reading. As I've continued to read it throughout this week, I have come to understand the power of true love between a husband and a wife and God's ever present hand in a marriage devoted to Him. The entries, mostly written by her husband Steve, are heartrending but also uplifting and spiritual growth opportunities for the reader. He lays his emotions out honestly and one can't help but enter into the story, frustrated not to be able to read fast enough but always walking away, knowing you just witnessed the presence of God in this family.

I knew I HAD to attend the funeral. It was scheduled to be on Monday at 6 PM. I also knew I had to work at the life care center until 6. The staff and I worked out a way I could leave at 5:15 UNTIL a couple came in at 5:10, asking for a pregnancy test and I was the only one available at that moment to do it. The woman was contemplating an abortion, the man opposed to her doing that. It was an arduous session but, in the end, I think the woman saw that abortion would not be a good solution to her problems. When we finished, it was 5:50 and I figured I had about a half hour drive, maybe 40 minutes. I would be late but, at least, I'd be there. As I drove, I realized that there was very little traffic going my way, a strange phenomenon, considering all the road construction with resulting detours and I should have been in the throes of rush hour traffic at that time. I arrived at 6:07, getting into a pew (in the back...the place was almost standing room only with a reported 1000 people there!) as the first reading was being read at 6:10.

What happened next was a thing of great beauty. The readings from Wisdom and the Beatitudes were perfect. The Gifts were brought up by her husband and four small children (Ellen, 2; William,7; Jessica, 9 and John, 11...I know their names now) in a solemn procession. Their friend Father Dale gave a touching homily. The song at the Preparation of Gifts was a contemplative "I Can Only Imagine". Holy Communion was a congregation hymn "You are Mine" and after Communion, the children's choir sang a very touching (everyone was crying by the end) Hail, Mary, Gentle Woman. (Angie's favorite prayer was the Hail Mary.) And, then came the eulogy by Angie's husband. It was the most powerful eulogy I've ever heard (and, believe me, I've heard many, due to my profession as a funeral accompanist). It was filled with love. Through it all, his/their faith was center stage. As always happens after I listen to eulogies, I left, wishing I had known her. Then, I thought about how I DO know her, the same way I know the saints. I will ask her to pray for me. A bond with her was created in that moment.

Out of my prayer for her family this week came the desire to do something for them. I knew they are surrounded by friends and family but maybe, just maybe, there was something I could do that was unique and might bring comfort in some small way. Then, it came to me. I had bought a Rosary for myself the week Angie died that was made from real roses. Its fragrance is so beautiful! I had it blessed by Fr. Leo at the Sisters' last Thursday. I knew the Hail Mary was Angie's favorite prayer. I could give that to Steve! So, today I decided I was going to bake Snickerdoodles for the kids and take them and the Rosary over to their house. My imagination ran a little wild because I thought I could stop at the store and get milk...fruit...crackers and cheese...cereal. Then, I realized that I didn't know what kind of milk or fruit or cereal they liked. Maybe I'll just bring the cookies (which I made this afternoon) and the Rosary, although fruit and milk WOULD be nice additions. We'll see, as I drive over there, where the Holy Spirit leads me on all this!

I've been thinking about their grieving. I remember, after Mary died, waking up in the middle of the night with what was probably an anxiety attack, thinking that I'd never see her again. (The dark of night did NOT help.) However, when I was fully awake, I was able to talk myself out of thinking that way, realizing that I really would see her again. My faith told me so. I wonder if Steve is experiencing this. Maybe I'm meant to go there to help him in his grieving by offering an opportunity to talk.

The world is certainly filled with great pain...I pray that I can be a comfort to those who come into my life and are suffering, that they won't lose faith in the Resurrection.