freaking out!

I took today off to rest, contemplate, pray and get ready for my meeting with the bishop. As the day has gone on, I have been increasingly freaking out about the meeting. Now, intellectually, I know all will be well. This is a God thing, after all! However, emotionally, I'm a bit of a wreck. Here is what has been going through my head: "I have a lot of audacity, calling a meeting with a bishop. He's too busy for the likes of me!" and "What if I say something I shouldn't?" and "I don't want to waste his time" AND "I should call and cancel!" Good grief! (I certainly do find myself being counterproductive at times like this! And, I recognize the evil one's attempt to stop me from doing God's will here, too...) All of these things have been answered by the Holy Spirit's peace washing over me and it is helping a ton. As Father Nels said in his homily yesterday, I must face God's will for my life with courage and excitement. I intend to do just that.

To get away for a little while, I went to the movie "Letters to God". I cried through the whole thing! It reminded me of my time with little Matteo. The main character died of the same thing he did--medulloblastoma--and even went to Give Kids the World Village, where we went, too. The boy taught everyone about God, the same as Matteo did. It was a beautiful, albeit heartbreaking movie.

Getting back to my preparation for the bishop...I have outlined very well what I'm going to say. I even sketched out the Statutes and Way of Life for the Franciscan Sisters of Peace and Life. I discovered something in doing more research today: St. Elizabeth of Hungary, whose feast day was the day I heard God's call about this community, was a Third Order Franciscan! Coincidence? I think not!

I learned last night from the Brothers that the woman who had approached them years ago about forming a Sister community with them is moving back to town this week. According to them, she is still interested in doing this. I believe this is an answer to one of my initial concerns to God, about one not making a community: TWO a community makes! I can hardly wait to meet her and compare our individual visions in regard to the community. I have a feeling they will be very similar!

I will not worry. I will not spend any more time in negative thought. I will walk into the future with courage and excitement for God has a plan and it is beautiful!

Never the less, it wouldn't hurt for you to pray for me, dear friend!