chastity

It is my belief that our world has lost the conviction (definition) of chastity. No longer do we consider it an important value in our lives; no longer do we consider it a part of who we are. If we are to be true followers of our God, we must get back to it, we must embrace the very idea of it--bottom line: we must BE chaste. To do otherwise is not God's will for our lives.

This is not an easy proposition for those of us baby boomers who came of age in the '60s and '70s when flower power, free love and the idea of "if it feels good, do it" came upon us like a tidal wave. To be sure, the Pill brought forth a torrent of sex, just for the fun of it. And, we taught our children the same...or at least neglected to teach them the truth.

I know so many who have sex before they even think about any kind of permanent commitment to one another. "Sexual freedom" isn't all that uncommon any more. Even people who say they are Catholic are committing adulterous acts and calling them good. They live openly together; they talk about it openly. There doesn't seem to be any shame or guilt about it. Sex outside of marriage is commonplace.

If we truly are to fulfill our purpose here on earth, we must not allow ourselves to be dissuaded away from living by God's plan for us, for this plan is one of only good for us, a path which leads to everlasting life. He gave us the wondrous gift of sexual expression which can only really come to fruition the way He envisioned it--within a marriage context, in a sacred covenant with Him. The ability for sexual intercourse was given to us so that spouses could express their love for one another (and for God) by literally becoming one flesh. Out of that would come new life, both figuratively and practically.

We have seen the physical, spiritual and psychological repercussions of our abuse of sex and sex outside of marriage: many, many sexually transmitted diseases/infections, broken hearts, broken lives, single parenting, abortion, child and sexual partner abuse...It seems obvious to me that it's not working very well. Sin never does. On the other hand, chastity takes discipline. Can we do it? I'd like to challenge people with this question. Do we have what it takes to follow Jesus? In my heart of hearts, I believe we all do.

I don't think people believe they can live without sex. They seem to think it is their right to have it. What we've lost along the way is the truth: sex is a gift from God, not a right. We CAN live without sex. Mary, our Mother, is a perfect example. The Church teaches she was a virgin all of her life. She lived without sex. And, too, I have often thought about what this meant for Joseph. He must have loved her deeply. That love was much, much bigger, more important than sex between them. They were raising the Son of God!

I've been thinking about chastity on a more personal level lately. The obvious reason is because, if I am really being called to the religious life, I will be taking a vow of chastity. I have been pondering what this means in my life. At this point in my life, it won't require any change in my behavior. I already have made the conscious choice to live chastely the rest of my life. It's a way of life...a way that can lead to God. I hunger for that ultimate communion!

Here is the teaching of the Church, found in the Catechism:

2337 Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.

The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.

2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ," the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.

2349 "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single." Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence...

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The teaching on the gift of our sexuality is very beautiful! For more information, here is a link to this part of the catechism: http://www.vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

We must ask God to help us be the best we can be while we are here on earth. Jesus must think we can do it. After all, He said to the woman who had been about to be stoned to death for committing adultery, "Neither do I condemn you. Go, (and) from now on do not sin any more." (John 8:11) If Jesus told her not to sin any more, He must have believed she could do it. And, I think He believes we can sin no more, too. Now, we just have to believe it! May God bless us with the discipline to follow the Truth.

meeting with the bishop

Yesterday's meeting with Bishop Piché was truly a blessed moment in my life. Interestingly, some of it was uncomfortable...I thought I had had all my ducks in a row when I went into the meeting but his Excellency was looking for OTHER ducks (or maybe they were geese???) from me and he told me as much. (The discomfort came from the realization that I wasn't perfect...ha! One would think I would know--and have accepted--THAT by now!) He was kind, gentle, firm. I LOVE that he was so candid. I learned so much from him by his being that way with me! And, it was an opportunity for me to grow in humility...how could I not listen to such a holy man? I believe God was speaking through him to me. It was such a privilege for me to have his ear for an hour! It was an hour filled with grace and blessings. Many people had been praying for this meeting. I could palpably feel the prayer support the entire time. There was a great peace; I know the Holy Spirit was very much present with us. It was hard work, but work I gladly did!

He took considerable notes about what I was telling him. He asked very pertinent and probing questions. In his wisdom, he taught me many things. He gently steered me to a new way of thinking. He said a religious community does not stand on the accoutrements, i.e. the superficialities, such as I had been focusing on. He said it has to have a foundation of inspiration--a charism, a purpose. I understood completely and very much agreed. I told him I'd been thinking about that lately. I believe I am being called to be a vocal proponent and teacher of chastity out in the world. Sex outside of marriage has become commonplace in our world. I want to teach God's way, regarding this, and as a Sister. He said it has to be an internal process and I must focus on what God wants of me today, not 10 years from now. I think he was trying to tell me to listen to God's voice within and the rest would follow. He said it was not time to think about an actual community in the ways I had been. He was absolutely correct in his assessment. To be sure, I have much work to do.

One thing he said I should do, if I have the wherewithal financially, is contact Mother Agnes of the Sisters of Life in NYC and spend a couple days with her, if she's willing. He told me to use his name to gain entry to speaking with her. They are friends. He said I would get a good picture of what it means to begin a religious community from her. I decided, then and there, I would do this. (I will try to do it this summer.) I was telling a friend of mine about this tonight and she said she would like to finance my trip. She said she believes so strongly in what I'm doing and she has the money to do such a thing. I am humbled and very grateful. I have the impression she'd be insulted if I don't let her!

He said I must not make any moves until I have a spiritual director. When I asked, he said he could not be my spiritual director. He doesn't have the time. I said I understood and had prepared myself for his saying no. (He IS a bishop, after all...with many bishop kinds of things to do!) I asked him if he could recommend someone. He gave me two names. He said he trusted both of them completely. In the end, he asked me to call him in 4 months' time and give him a report on how I was doing.

Afterward, I felt greatly respected. I sensed I had just been in the presence of holiness. I have a hunch that he is destined to be much more than a bishop. Perhaps he'll be a cardinal from Minnesota one day, although I have a feeling he will be assigned away from here in the role (promotion!) of archbishop sooner rather than later. How very, very, very blessed I was to spend time with him!

freaking out!

I took today off to rest, contemplate, pray and get ready for my meeting with the bishop. As the day has gone on, I have been increasingly freaking out about the meeting. Now, intellectually, I know all will be well. This is a God thing, after all! However, emotionally, I'm a bit of a wreck. Here is what has been going through my head: "I have a lot of audacity, calling a meeting with a bishop. He's too busy for the likes of me!" and "What if I say something I shouldn't?" and "I don't want to waste his time" AND "I should call and cancel!" Good grief! (I certainly do find myself being counterproductive at times like this! And, I recognize the evil one's attempt to stop me from doing God's will here, too...) All of these things have been answered by the Holy Spirit's peace washing over me and it is helping a ton. As Father Nels said in his homily yesterday, I must face God's will for my life with courage and excitement. I intend to do just that.

To get away for a little while, I went to the movie "Letters to God". I cried through the whole thing! It reminded me of my time with little Matteo. The main character died of the same thing he did--medulloblastoma--and even went to Give Kids the World Village, where we went, too. The boy taught everyone about God, the same as Matteo did. It was a beautiful, albeit heartbreaking movie.

Getting back to my preparation for the bishop...I have outlined very well what I'm going to say. I even sketched out the Statutes and Way of Life for the Franciscan Sisters of Peace and Life. I discovered something in doing more research today: St. Elizabeth of Hungary, whose feast day was the day I heard God's call about this community, was a Third Order Franciscan! Coincidence? I think not!

I learned last night from the Brothers that the woman who had approached them years ago about forming a Sister community with them is moving back to town this week. According to them, she is still interested in doing this. I believe this is an answer to one of my initial concerns to God, about one not making a community: TWO a community makes! I can hardly wait to meet her and compare our individual visions in regard to the community. I have a feeling they will be very similar!

I will not worry. I will not spend any more time in negative thought. I will walk into the future with courage and excitement for God has a plan and it is beautiful!

Never the less, it wouldn't hurt for you to pray for me, dear friend!

yesterday

Yesterday, at the pregnancy center, we were extremely busy with client issues. I had dozens of phone calls. People seemed to be coming at me from all directions! I met with a client who is 9 months pregnant. (After we finished our meeting, she went to the hospital because she was having contractions!) Her story was gut-wrenching. Her partner, her two children and she are living in their car because, a week ago, their neighbors threatened them, both physically and verbally. My client and her family are black. The neighbors are white. She and her family have lived in the apartment for 2 years; the neighbors had moved in just recently. When they were trying to get in their car, the neighbors tried to force her partner out of the car and pushed her to get to him, shouting terrible things to them. (Their children, both toddlers, were in the car, observing it all.) The landlord refused to stick up for them. They went to the police.

This couple seem very gentle in spirit. I doubt they started the altercation. They are victims. They'd come to me for financial support to get into a new, safe apartment. I told them I would do everything I could to help them. I haven't gotten it totally worked out yet but I will. This is unacceptable!

What makes people think they can use force to intimidate others? Why would they do it in the first place? There is so much violence in this world. I see it, up close, all the time, with my clients. Usually it's domestic abuse and the clients are fleeing from it.

Dear Lord, please watch over these precious children. Help them to be safe and help them not to have bitterness toward their abusers. Reach the hearts of those who can help them financially so that they will be able to live in a place that is free from harm's way. Give me the courage to advocate for them. Have mercy on us all. Amen

blessed Eastertide!

It's Easter Monday and I have a feeling that all church musicians everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief! We made it through another grueling schedule during the past 4 days. Today, we can rest. Alleluia!

I decided last night I was going to sleep in this morning until I was no longer tired. I made the conscious choice not to get up for Mass. Well, I was wide awake at 6:30! I arrived at 8:00 Mass to discover that a bishop and 2 priests would be con-celebrating. I was so glad I couldn't sleep in, not only for the fact that the bishop was there, but because Mass is the most important element in my day. My heart would have been longing for the Eucharist all day had I really slept in. And, what an awesome surprise and blessing to receive Our Lord from a bishop!

The Triduum and Easter Sunday celebrations were beautiful. Our parish community celebrated Holy Thursday and the Easter Vigil with the Vietnamese community. It was interesting to hear the Vietnamese language read and sung. The church was filled with families.

We did have one kind of big gaffe. On Holy Saturday, I began playing the intro to the Gospel Acclamation but noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that Father was waving at me. I stopped playing to look at him. (Meanwhile, the cantor started singing but quickly realized I'd stopped playing so she stopped, too!) He was mouthing something but I just didn't get it so he came over to me and said something about giving him 3 notes. I told him I didn't know what he wanted. So, he said okay, just do what you are doing. We began again...

I was horrified that Mass had come to a complete halt because either Father or I hadn't done something right...chances are it was me. After Mass, Father said he'd assumed that I'd remember what we'd done last year. (I gave him a pitch...he sang Alleluia; I gave him another higher pitch, again, he'd sing Alleluia and then, a third time...and THEN we'd go into the Alleluia with the congregation that I'd started.) I said, Father, you are talking to an old woman. Brain cells have died since then. I did not remember. Then, he said, as he was proclaiming the Gospel, he hoped that I didn't feel badly about what had happened. I told him, no, that my sense of humor kicked in right away, that I was thinking that I was going to tell him we could have been out of there 5 minutes sooner if we hadn't gone through all that. (Mass lasted over 3 hours!) Also, these things can happen. It's the beauty (curse?) of live music. He said he was glad I wasn't upset.

What I discovered in this exchange was that I work for the best boss in the world. How gracious he was...He even told me not to give it any more thought because he never dwells on things like this. He said he forgets them after they're over. Now, he could have yelled at me or belittled me. (I have a friend who works for a pastor who yells at her in front of people for every mistake she makes.) Instead, Father brought Christ's love and compassion to me. I was so grateful...and humbled. I resolved NOT to make that mistake next year. I made sure it went into the notes I made after every service about things that could be improved for next year.

What a blessing to encounter someone who is willing to show me God's love and mercy in this way! I pray I will do the same when the opportunity presents itself. After all, this is an essential (but quite often overlooked) part of professing to be a Christian.

The Church teaches that the next 50 days, until Pentecost, are to be days of celebration (YES...no fasting!!!). Let us mindfully and prayerfully (AND joyously!) celebrate the greatest gift God gave us: His Son who is risen from the dead so we may have eternal life. May blessings and celebrations be yours during this very holy season of Easter!